Zoolander 2
Starring: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Penèlope Cruz
Directed by: Ben Stiller
Rated: PG-13
I sat through this movie once. The thought of reviewing it is not appealing. But I will review to save others from this sad attempt at comedy. Just know, they've ruined Zoolander.
Before I say too much about Zoolander 2, I need to make it known I love the first Zoolander. I think it's a hilarious satire of the fashion industry. I quote it on a daily basis. So I was initially excited to see Zoolander 2. Now I wish it had never been made.
There are so many stand-alone comedies that are actually funny with needless, terrible sequels: Anchorman 2, Dumb and Dumber Too, Zoolander 2. All of these movies seem more concerned with how many celebrity cameos they can lock in their short runtime than the quality of their script. It's time to stop with the horrible comedy sequels, Hollywood.
So how could a movie that reunites Zoolander and Hansel be that bad? What's it about? Well, who knows? The plot of this movie changes a million times.
After living in seclusion, Derek Zoolander is invited to a major fashion show. There, he finds Hansel and the two learn they are no longer hip in the fashion world. After the fashion show, they meet Valentina Valencia (Penèlope Cruz) an interpol agent. She tells them that someone has been killing the world's most famous pop stars and somehow Derek's most famous modeling looks are connected. Together they work together to find out who is killing the pop stars…..and how Derek's son is involved.
I'll admit, the first third of this movie is entertaining. I laughed a few times. I thought I was in for a semi-decent Zoolander sequel. Then it plummeted to horrible depths.
This script is horribly scattered. One minute the movie is focusing on Derek and Hansel trying to be hip in fashion. The next it's about Derek's relationship with his son. Then it's about Hansel and a traveling orgy. (seriously) The third act focuses on stopping a villain from killing a main character. I don't expect a lot from this kind of comedy, but none of this worked. It was like watching a bunch of rejected SNL skits pieced together to make a movie.
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson play Derek Zoolander and Hansel the same way they do in the first movie. They are very dumb models who are obsessed with being "ridiculously good looking." Somehow they always get involved stopping a villain from killing an important person. There's no big change there. They're funny characters, the first movie is proof, but they needed much better material here.
Pènelope Cruz plays Valentina, an interpol agent. She is a very talented actress and I don't know why she signed on for this role. She's treated as a sexist caricature and it's just offensive to watch.
Kristen Wiig plays Alexanya Atoz, a popular (and particularly strange) designer, who brings Derek and Hansel out of hiding back into the world of fashion. Kristen Wiig is a majorly talented actress/comedian, but this was just sad to watch. She says every word with a ridiculous inflection that is intended to be funny, but falls miserably flat.
Will Ferrell is back to ruin another comedy! He plays Mugatu, a crazy fashion designer. He's terrible here. He's completely changed Mugatu's voice and somehow acts 10 times more dramatic than before. It's insufferable to watch.
I could talk about several more annoying characters, but I think you get the point.
Zoolander 2 is an awful comedy that focuses on celebrity cameos and cheap jokes instead of any kind of decent script. If you're a Zoolander fan: Jitterbug far away from this mess.
My Rating: 2/10