Godzilla vs. Kong
Starring: Alexander Skarsgaard, Rebecca Hall, Bryan Tyree Henry, Millie Bobby Brown
Directed By: Adam Wingard
Rated: PG-13
I am in no way a Godzilla or King Kong expert. Sure, I’ve seen Peter Jackson’s 3-hour adaptation of King Kong, where Jack Black tries to get King Kong to perform in a fancy New York show, and things do not go as planned. (Also, there was a 2-hour detour to Skull Island, and I’m pretty sure it was the last time mainstream audiences saw Adrian Brody act.) And yes, I have seen Godzilla starring Matthew Broderick. However, I would not say I feel the need to follow these monsters and their journeys. Yet, this week when I saw Godzilla vs. Kong on HBO Max, I decided in the words of Miss Hilary Duff circa 2003, “Why Not, take a crazy chance?” I haven’t seen a blockbuster in a long time. Might as well give it a shot.
So, what brought Godzilla and Kong to this place? Why do they have bad blood?
Well, Kong is being monitored at a Skull Island facility where he communicates via sign language with a young orphan named Jia. With the help of Ilene Andrews (Rebecca Hall) and Nathan Lind (Alexander Skarsgaard), they all set out on a journey to find Kong’s true home in Hollow Earth. There’s a hiccup when Godzilla begins attacking all over the world. This leads to a Godzilla vs. Kong face-off. Think Batman v. Superman, except they’re giant creatures, and their moms don’t share the same name.
I bet you thought this movie was just Godzilla vs. Kong based on the name. Well, they tricked you. Everything is not what it seems, and Apex Cybernetics is actually holding back some major secrets. Conspiracy podcast host/Cybernetics employee Bernie (Brian Tyree Henry) knows something suspicious is going on, and teens Madison Russell (Millie Bobby Brown) with sidekick Josh (Julian Dennison) are there to figure it out. Why wouldn’t two fifteen-year-olds save the world from a global conspiracy?
Truthfully, I thought this movie was such a mess. It’s obvious all the money was spent on big-budget effects. The plot of Godzilla vs. Kong feels so much like a SYFY channel original movie with a Hollywood budget. So many plot elements are thrown in, yet it never feels super cohesive. The Madison/Bernie conspiracy plotline feels super detached from the rest of the film.
The characters are paper-thin. No, I don’t go into a Godzilla vs. Kong movie expecting great characters, but these characters have no defining personality. They exist as props to serve the plot. The only thing defining these people are vague descriptions like “Podcast Host,” “Pilot,” “Teenagers,” and “Kyle Chandler.” How do you get Kyle Chandler in a movie and give him so little to do? The dialogue certainly does the characters no favors. At one point, a city has been LEVELED by a Kong vs. Godzilla fight when a character says, “I guess round two goes to Kong.” Sir, people are dead. This is not a WWE cage match. Show me you have a personality. You can make a disaster movie with characterization. Think Independence Day.
I will say that the effects of Godzilla vs. Kong are impressive. I’m sure watching it on a big theatrical screen was a cool experience. The character designs of both Godzilla and Kong look massive in scale and intimidating. They gave Kong a bit more of a personality than some of the human characters, which was an interesting choice.
Most of the movie is composed of bombastic action sequences. This can be exciting to watch at first, but it gets a little old after so much destruction. (At least it did for me.) There’s a ton of destruction in this movie. Basically, I’d say that the effects team did their job well, but there comes a time when enough is enough. The action sequences became headache-inducing after a while.
If you’re a fan of Godzilla and King Kong, you’ll probably have some fun seeing these monsters duke it out on screen. However, for a casual viewer like myself, impressive effects will only take you so far. The weak plot and headache-inducing action sequences of Godzilla vs. Kong were a disappointment.
My Rating: 5/10