Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3
Starring: Chris Pratt, Bradley Cooper, Zoe Saldana, Karen Gillian
Directed By: James Gunn
Rated: PG-13
My recent experiences with Marvel have been less than stellar to say the least. As I mentioned in my last review, Ant Man and the Wasp was a movie experience so bad that I had to take a break from writing reviews.
Guardians of the Galaxy has never been my favorite of the Marvel franchise but it has its moments. As the 3rd film marks the conclusion of the trilogy (at least for now) I went to see it with an open mind. I left the theater still let down by Marvel and emotionally traumatized by some of the things I had seen.
Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 finds Peter, Rocket, Groot, Nebula, Drax, and Mantis on Planet Knowhere when they are attacked by Adam Warlock (a new character who only exists to crash into things.) Rocket is critically injured by Adam and can only be saved if the Guardians find a secret file that bypasses his kill switch. Their journey will involve strange planets, endless 80s needle-drops, and Adam randomly appearing to crash into more things. Will they make it? Will you?
Before I get into my exact thoughts on this movie I’ve imagined what a conversation between James Gunn and Marvel executives might have looked like in the early screenings of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3.
James Gunn: “Ok we’re going to start with Bradley Cooper singing Creep by Radiohead as the raccoon”
Marvel Exec 1: “Great, If there’s one thing we know from a Star is Born it’s that people love hearing Bradley Cooper sing. They’ll love it even more if he’s singing as a raccoon with a Bronx accent.”
James Gunn: “Ok that scene is over. Now I’m going to show a NEW CHARACTER. This golden flying man!
Marvel Exec 2: “What’s his purpose?”
James Gunn: “Please don’t ask questions like that. Doesn’t he look cool?”
Marvel Exec 2: “I guess so.”
James Gunn: “Moving on! Rocket is in trouble! Here’s a montage of his early life as a baby raccoon.”
Marvel Exec 2: “Oh okay. Back to that golden man…does he matter in this almost 3 hour movie?”
James Gunn: “Please, I’m begging you to STOP ASKING! The Guardians are now on a quest to save Rocket on this crazy planet. Isn’t it awesome how I play so much 80s music that doesn’t fit the theme of the scene at all? Just blasting the song over the scene for the sake of pure nostalgia?”
Marvel Exec 1: “That is awesome. We here at Marvel love how you do that!”
James Gunn: “FLASHBACK AGAIN! Would you like to see some animal abuse?”
Marvel Exec 2: “Oh no, definitely not.”
Marvel Exec 1: “Let’s hear him out. Surely it has a purpose and it will be a small part of the movie.”
James Gunn: “Oh, I’m about to show a wheelchair bound walrus, an armless otter, and a bunny with metal spider legs get abused in grotesque ways for the next two and a half hours.”
Both Execs in unison filling out resignation letters under the table: “We have to go now.”
Well now that we have that conversation out of the way, you can see that James Gunn’s direction and script didn’t work for me. Guardians vol. 3 lacks any kind of tonal consistency. One minute we’re watching what feels like a high voltage music video and the next we’re seeing animal abuse more crushing than an ASPCA ad. It’s all over the place. The movie attempts to go for juvenile humor one second and an animal rights segment the next. There’s no balance here. Gunn’s scripts are eccentric but this is on a whole other level.
The Guardians have always been a rag-tag group of misfits but the whiplash of attempted humor, horrific animal abuse, and space adventure did not fit together in this bloated script.
Guardians vol. 3 marks the end of the trilogy. Each character goes through their own journey throughout the film that marks the closing chapter for their character. Peter (Chris Pratt), Rocket (Bradley Cooper), and Drax (Dave Bautista) have the biggest character growth through the film. The cast does fine with the material they are given. They play the characters as they’re meant to be played. Adam Warlock (Will Poulter) crashes into things as one is meant to crash. It’s nothing life changing. When humor is involved, the movie suffers. The banter back and forth between the team quickly falls into irritating territory. None of the jokes deliver serious laughs.
I need to spend some time talking about the animal abuse in this film that revolves around Rocket’s backstory. The villain is a deeply evil man called The High Evolutionary who believes he can make a perfect world by creating a new species. This involves so much grotesque animal testing. All of the animals in the film are CGI but it doesn’t make the imagery any less upsetting. I understand the overarching theme connecting The High Evolutionary to the evils of animal testing in today’s society. However, there are other ways to get a point across (especially in a film geared towards a younger audience) without such masochistic imagery. I honestly wish I just hadn’t seen this movie at all. If you are someone who is very sensitive to animals in danger or animal cruelty, I would strongly caution you before you see this.
At this point in the review you’re thinking, “Rebecca, is there anything in this movie you liked at all?” Yes. They played one of my favorite songs by Florence and the Machine and that was really nice. I can say that I appreciate a good Florence Welch shout out.
Other than that, I really was not a fan of this movie. Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 is a mess filled with tonal inconsistency, forced humor, and brutal animal cruelty. Marvel is not what it once was.
My Rating: 4/10