Argylle
Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston, Henry Cavill
Directed By: Matthew Vaughn
Where to begin? For the past 6 months, I’ve seen previews baiting audience members into guessing who “the real agent Argylle” could be. There were theories online about what A-List actor this movie could have hidden in the third act. I went into the theater wondering if it could pull off a big surprise.
No, it could not. Despite coming from Matthew Vaughn of the Kingsman franchise, Argylle is a massive letdown. And the real agent Argylle is nothing but a huge bummer.
Argylle tries to capture the stylistic spy fun of the Kingsman franchise but falls miserably flat. The movie attempts to do a story in a story framing device as we follow Argylle (Henry Cavill) on a spy mission in Greece. Just as the mission is about to go south, it’s revealed that he is a character in Elly Conway’s massively popular spy novel series “Argylle.” Elly is a best-selling author who lives for her books and her cat, but other than that, she’s a loner without much of a social life. While trying to write the end of her latest Argylle novel, she encounters a man on a train named Aidan (Sam Rockwell) who claims to be a spy. He is not afraid of shouting it from the rooftops. “I’m a spy!” he yells obviously. If he had a LinkedIn it would say “professional spy who is currently tracking you.” Her life turns upside down when an organization comes after Elly and Aidan. Why would anyone be after Elly? Can she trust Aidan who is horrible at keeping his spy identity a secret? Not sure that I would.
The plot of this movie starts out perfectly entertaining. The novel within a movie is a cool storytelling device. However, Argylle goes completely off the rails in the second act after a plot twist is revealed. There are approximately 35 plot twists in this movie but if you’ve seen it, you’ll know which one I’m talking about. It’s as if Matthew Vaughn started adding plot twists because he didn’t know what else to do. At a certain point, it was tiring.
The acting is not the best I’ve seen in my life, to put it mildly. The actors are meant to be over-the-top but some of the line readings were rough to sit through. Elly (Bryce Dallas Howard) and her parent characters (Catherine O’Hara and Bryan Cranston) all overact in such insane ways that it feels like you’re watching a children’s TV show. There is a scene with Elly involving ice skating that is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in a movie. You’ll know it when you see it because it’s the moment when you begin to evaluate what led you to watch this movie at all.
The MVP’s of this movie were Sam Rockwell and Samuel L. Jackson. If your name is Sam and you were in Argylle, thank you for entertaining us with this script. Sam Rockwell is such a talented actor. Remember his 2019 run with Fosse/Verdon, Jojo Rabbit, and Richard Jewell? What a year. That was a time to witness an acting career. He does what he can in Argylle and it reminded me how he can elevate pretty much anything he’s in.
Samuel L. Jackson is an MVP because I respect anyone who can get over a million dollars for sitting in a chair and clapping while watching a basketball game for the majority of his screen time. Living the dream for real.
Argylle is not a clever or fun addition to the spy genre. It’s a ridiculous movie that prioritizes cheap plot twists over genuinely good writing.
My Rating: 4/10